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| Always remember that you are unique... just like everyone else. |
-"The Bullshit Snowflake"-
In our daily lives, whether we may be students, workers or just simple human beings bound to do a tedious job over and over again for the rest of our lives, sources of motivation in literature and media seems to be a common thing, and holding on to them seems inevitable. I'm pretty sure most of us have a quote or a word of inspiration from a work of literature, from a famous personality, or perhaps stories of success to keep us hoping, and proverbs to feed our faith. It has become our mantra, our charm for good luck, our source of energy, or even our one last hope for living at times.
I kind of chuckled a little upon hearing the question, it was not due of the silliness of the question, but rather because of the sudden sadness I've felt upon hearing it.
After having that interview I started questioning myself which is which?
Are we all different? Or is it the fact that we are all equally unique that makes us all the same?
Whether or not it is true, one thing remains clear— what the society stands for is nothing but ambiguous.
When a man is at his lowest, he is brought up with empowerment and understanding. However, raise him too high, and he will be bombarded with prejudice and rejection. We love to set the captives free, however when that certain freedom comes in our way in a manner we do not desire, we create new cages to imprison them into. It's very funny how the society is.
We live in a society that celebrates nonconformity but rejects nonconformity that is unpleasing to its eye.
Nonconformity itself has to conform.
There was a quote by Albert Einstein that said,
In my life as a college student, I've seen a lot of motivational quotes on my classmates' notebooks, cellphones, IDs and almost everywhere possible to put them. They are simply everywhere.
"No success without adversity."
"Different and beautiful."
"Stand for what you think is right. Even if it means you have to stand alone."
"You are who you choose to be."
"Failure is success."
"It doesn't matter what the society thinks about you as long as you are happy with yourself."
"Everyone is a special snowflake."
... those are just some of the typical messages of those quotes I have seen.
Perhaps in a class where almost everyone is hoping to qualify in med school, it is just natural to have these words of empowerment to get them through the very stressful everyday trials of our premed course, or at least it is just enough to keep them from slitting their wrists out of sheer frustration.
"Stand for what you think is right. Even if it means you have to stand alone."
"You are who you choose to be."
"Failure is success."
"It doesn't matter what the society thinks about you as long as you are happy with yourself."
"Everyone is a special snowflake."
... those are just some of the typical messages of those quotes I have seen.
Perhaps in a class where almost everyone is hoping to qualify in med school, it is just natural to have these words of empowerment to get them through the very stressful everyday trials of our premed course, or at least it is just enough to keep them from slitting their wrists out of sheer frustration.
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| typical motivation |
I myself have one, and it is from the French author and Nobel prize winner André Gide, which says,
"One cannot discover new oceans unless one has the courage to lose sight of the shore."
However, in all honesty, I have not read any of André Gide's work and I actually have no idea who he is until I have researched him for the purpose of writing this essay. Furthermore, the quote is not even directly translated. What André Gide wrote was actually translated as, "One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight, for a very long time, of the shore." I happen to have preferred the former since I found it a lot more fitting for my situation.
We are used to holding on to words of motivation and inspiration that hold a good promise beyond the obstacles we are facing, even sometimes without the need of knowing where it came from. And based on my humble observation, most of these motivations that are rampant in the influence of modern literature and media, both mainstream and social, focuses a lot on empowerment, risk-taking and the celebration of nonconformity.
I have been a witness of a lot of them since I am a supporter of gender and racial equality, and empowerment is pretty much what it is all about. In addition, having a mother who is a special education teacher, I have been used to motivating people and raising awareness to the condition of children with special needs. I have been taught by my mother to use the term "challenged" rather than "disabled." I have been taught to use the term "gift" rather than "disability." And the most significant of them all, too significant perhaps that I myself also assert it to people who are unaware, is to call them "special" and not "abnormal."
Having these new terms and treatments to those who have been considered as outcasts of the society back in the decades past makes me think that we have indeed gone a long way. The past seems too different from the present already. Women have gained their voices, races have gained equal rights, freedom of sexual preference have been embraced by the society. And even though these things are not exactly absolute, the fact remains that the modern civilized society have revolutionized its ways— a way of saying that we have been there, done that, and we are never going back there again.
And so the days of the outcasts have ended. We have restructured our understanding of depression, attention-deficit/hyperactive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, addiction and countless other conditions and disorders, nerds and geeks become acceptable in pop culture, we have learned to substitute punishment with correction.
We have evolved into a society which celebrates non-conformity.
This very fact is supported by the philosophy that the society instills on us, which is reflected on the motivations and empowerment that people give to one another, a belief and a standard that is accepted by the majority.
However, the question remains: Is the society true to what it stands for?
As I recall, when I was having my very first job interview a few days ago, the final interviewer asked me,
"Well, you are one of the many referrals sent to me, and sadly most of them were not qualified and are not able to have the job. Tell me, what makes you different from them?"
I kind of chuckled a little upon hearing the question, it was not due of the silliness of the question, but rather because of the sudden sadness I've felt upon hearing it.
"Isn't it weird that you are asking me this question?" I replied.
He asked me why.
I continued, "Well, when we were young, we were taught exactly the different thing. I know, sir, that you too have been taught that — that everyone is a special snowflake. But now we find it the other way around, that all people seem just the same, too same as a matter of fact that you have to ask what makes a person different from anyone else. It's interesting how our perspectives change over the course of time and we will never truly know which is true or not."
After having that interview I started questioning myself which is which?
Are we all different? Or is it the fact that we are all equally unique that makes us all the same?
Whether or not it is true, one thing remains clear— what the society stands for is nothing but ambiguous.
When a man is at his lowest, he is brought up with empowerment and understanding. However, raise him too high, and he will be bombarded with prejudice and rejection. We love to set the captives free, however when that certain freedom comes in our way in a manner we do not desire, we create new cages to imprison them into. It's very funny how the society is.
We live in a society that celebrates nonconformity but rejects nonconformity that is unpleasing to its eye.
Nonconformity itself has to conform.
When a person is labeled an outcast by the society because his nonconformity is is not pleasing, no one gives a hang. Make the person kill himself on the other hand... and everyone seems to understand the dead for some reason. I cannot decide whether it is inconsistency or hypocrisy that is at work.
There was a quote by Albert Einstein that said,
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
The credibility of this quote itself is questionable, since there is no actual proof of Einstein having mentioned it. But it has become a widely-known statement and have influenced a lot of people. The interesting thing about it is that I have learned about this saying at school— the very place the quote was referring to. And I have felt a very strong sense of irony upon hearing it the first time. I am but a fish forced to climb a tree, I thought to myself, as all these teachings made me believed to be.
I have a very peculiar manner of learning that is different from the rest of my classmates and it has long been evident since my early years of school. Despite my competency in intellectual capabilities, I have mood and esteem issues, and attention problems which give me problems in normal studying habits. Hence, these made me more interested in learning rather than passing. My parents took pride in that philosophy of mine and they have been very supportive ever since. It was a pleasing nonconformity. It made me remarkable to my past teachers back in my elementary and high school days. However, as I proceeded to college, I have seen principles and philosophies of people disintegrate before my very eyes. School has become nothing more but about passing. They kept on knowing and knowing without having to understand the reason why. I have seen the exact equivalent of an ignorant church, but instead of seeing blind faith, I have witnessed blind knowledge. I have seen little learning, I have witnessed emotional and mental torment. I have seen that not only the academe is the victim of this disintegration of the essence of human life but also my home. I have realized that they value money more than our very own well-being, poverty and adversity have made my parents give up what they stand for. They made me believe that I am a snowflake to keep me going, however upon living what they made me believe, they told me that being a snowflake is just an excuse for my shortcomings. I cannot tell exactly what is true, but with the opposing truths they made me— made us— believe, I know one can only be.
And so when I have decided to take another path towards my goal, which is dropping out of school to save my sanity, getting a job and saving up for my own education to spare me the guilt and pressure of having my parents to pay for my tuition fees, and to work my way according to my own pace, they asked me to leave the house.
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| half-meant jokes |
What confuses me a lot is that these are the very things that they have been teaching me growing up— these are the things they teach us when we are young. However, they expect us to be free in a certain boundary. The freedom they have given us is delusional. They taught us but they never expect us to learn. They never expect us to truly live by it. It is but a charade, it is all pretense if you think of it.
The society may have changed its play, but its game has always been— and will remain— the same.
And so, I never rely on words of motivation anymore. We are what we choose to be. Nature has no known law which determines the fate of man. And despite the ambiguous nature not only of this society but the universe itself... it is man himself who will determine his reality— for he makes his own reality.
The only question remains,
Are you determined enough to make yours real?
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
...and will you believe in this motivation?
